Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Control, or lack thereof.

I admit, I like to control things.

So upon wakening at 2:30 am to the sound of a child (Lauren) vomiting in the bathroom, I have to toss my need to control right out the window. It was hard, but I had to do it. Harder still to see her in pain and obviously not well.

In letting go of control over my day, I am now home with her rather than running around town doing errands. I have let go of my responsibilities in coordinating her class Valentines Day party (which is this afternoon). I even let go of my duty to get Grace to preschool this morning - one friend accepted my request to take her to school; another friend graciously called me and offered to bring her home. I am not one to like to ask for help!

I decided to be a mom who stayed home with her kids, in some ways because of days like this. I wanted to be able to be with them when they are sick, to be able to drop everything and just be there. I am grateful I am not juggling an employer or negotiating childcare with someone else. The choice to be home is not always easy. But for me, it is the absolute right choice and it is a big driving force in my motivation to build my own business and work from home.

I'll get a little control back at some point. But for now, I need to check on my little pumpkin. She needs her mommy.

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